Cowboys & Aliens

Okay, nothing much has been happening with me, so I decided to review a few of the films we've watched lately. First up...

Cowboys and Aliens.

I am not particularly fussy about the films I watch. I will happily sit through anything that holds my attention. It doesn't necessarily have to be thought provoking but it does have to be entertaining. Usually when I see the trailer for a film, I can tell straight away whether or not it's my kind of thing. I wasn't overly enthused with this one from the outset. Firstly, the concept seemed a little too whacky but I figured how wrong could Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig be! After seeing the film I have my answer.

It is 1873 and aliens have arrived to take over the Earth. All that stands in their way is a few good men (and one woman). Our "hero" Jake, played by Daniel Craig wakes in the middle of the desert with a strange metal bracelet and a bad case of amnesia. He makes his way to the nearest town and before we can establish if he is a good guy with a bad temper or a bad guy with morals, the aliens attack. Here is the first problem, all stories have to have a lead character that you empathize with. You don't have to like them but you have to be willing them to succeed. I didn't really care about this Jake at all. His back story is revealed gradually as he regains his memory but the exposition is predictable. He has a futuristic bracelet-come-weapon stuck on his wrist - it's pretty obvious where he got it so you only have to guess whether he was given it or he stole it!

If Jake is the bad guy then Harrison Ford's character "Dolarhyde" is the badder guy. It was nice to see Ford play something different for a change and I think he did a good job with it. I am not knocking anyone's performance in this movie. There was nothing wrong with the acting and the special effects were fine (although with a budget of $163M I was expecting better). The story was what let this film down for me. I was expecting more than pretty scenery and high class CGI.

I haven't read the graphic novel this film was based on so I can't tell if maybe this film just didn't translate to the big screen well. One thing is for sure, I won't be adding this to the DVD collection when it gets released.

Where Has The Time Gone?

Wow, I didn't realise how long it had been since I posted anything on my blog. I'd like to say it is because I have been busy but that wouldn't be true.
The reading challenge has been put on the back burner. I still intend to proceed with it but I've been spending time reading scripts and books on screenwriting, trying to teach myself how to be a better writer.
I've also joined a forum at OTTfilms where like-minded people are getting together to make low and no budget films. There are some amazingly talented people hanging out there and already I've been inspired to enter one of their competitions. I don't expect to win but I have had some great feedback. It all helps with the learning process but more importantly, it helps to build the confidence I am lacking.

This year has flown by - mostly because I have been walking around on autopilot. My way of coping with the loss of my Dad has been to shut myself off from everyone. It is not the recommended way of dealing with loss but it is the only way I could function. Ten months on and I am still close to tears every time I realise that he is gone.

Last weekend I met up with my aunts and uncles for the first time since the New Year. Being around them reminds me of my Dad as we all used to get together to do Karaoke. I was dreading it - not because I didn't want to see them but because I didn't think I'd be able to make it through the night without getting upset. On the way there I almost turned around to go home. I am glad I didn't. Spending the evening with them all was just what I needed to pull me out of this slump I've been in. I realised that my Dad was right - your family is the most important thing in your life.

Adam and Edna

BOOK CHALLENGE 57/1000 (65)

Well, it has been a very long time since I added to this challenge. I even toyed with abandoning it altogether... but then along came a Kindle and my interest was renewed.

So what can I say about Adam Bede by George Eliot. It is overly long and it takes forever for the actual story to start but in the end I loved it.

The first half of the book describes, in detail, each of the main and secondary characters and settings. It seemed to drag on without ever going anywhere. I was almost ready to give up and begin something else but I persevered and I'm glad I did. By the end I was so drawn in that I actually welled up a couple of times.

Overall, this is a slow read but a worthwhile one.

BOOK CHALLENGE 58/1000 (66)

After struggling through Adam Bede, I needed something a little lighter and a bit quicker. So I chose The Awakening by Kate Chopin. Another novel I had never even heard of before but it is on the challenge so it had to be read. For once, I instantly understood why this book had made the list. It is a fantastic little story. It flowed so well. The characters were all different and interesting.

My only criticism is that it is very short. I wanted to know more.

Strangely, this novel is categorised as a "family" in the Guardian list whereas I would have definitely classified it in the "love" category. It is a beautiful story, beautifully written.

The Room

Well it has been a very long time since I have had anything to say. It is obviously going to be a long long time before I am back to my old self but I am trying really hard to pull myself out of my slump and get motivated. Everything has been so hard, I have hardly done any writing at all. My "Being Nobody" script has been pushed to the side for a few months while I draft out another project, and this hasn't got very far before I hit a bit of a brick wall. Even my reading challenge has slowed to a stop. I have even toyed with the idea of abandoning it altogether. In the meantime, I have been filling my head with fluff (Teen fiction mostly) as this seems to be my level of intellect these days. I am sure things will get back on track soon but meanwhile I jotted down a little short story today that I decided to post here as I have nothing else going on at the moment worth sharing.

Enjoy!

THE ROOM.

Time has no meaning here. I have no watch. There are no windows to see the sun rise and set. I sleep and I wake but I have no way of knowing how much time has passed. Sometimes I think I must have been here for weeks but I know that’s probably just my imagination.
I panicked at first, of course. Who wouldn’t? You wake up in a strange room with no way out; obviously you panic. I screamed, I hammered on walls, I begged and pleaded to be set free but no-one came. Maybe they are listening somewhere, amused by my futile efforts. Maybe they are watching me pace up and down as I search for some weakness in these walls which will give me my escape. I don’t see any cameras but that doesn’t mean they’re not there. Technology has come a long way. Cameras as small as a pin-head exist, don’t they? Or is that just science-fiction? No – I’m sure I saw a movie once where the camera was small enough to – but wait – that was a movie not real life.
I pounded on the walls with my bare fists until they started to bleed. I cried until my eyes were dry and sore but no-one came. I’m alone. I started to laugh then, almost hysterical. All the times in my life I’ve wanted to be on my own. All the times I’ve wanted to just run away some place quiet where I could just sit and think. Somewhere I wouldn’t have to worry about anyone else. Somewhere I could figure out who I am and what I want to do. Now, here I am and all I can think about is getting home. “Be careful what you wish for,” my Mum used to tell me. How wise she was and I never realised. The sound of my laughter echoes off the walls. The reverberation seems to make the room tremble but then I realise that it is not the room but me trembling; shaking in fear. The shock and the terror smothers me, as I curl up on the bed, hugging my knees to my chest, to cry my heart out once more.
I wake from a bad dream only to realise it isn’t a dream at all. This nightmare is real. How did I get here? I can’t remember. My memories are a crazy blur. Was I drugged? I search for answers in the murky haze of my mind. Why can’t I remember? Had I been drinking? Maybe I had or maybe it was so traumatic my mind chose to shut it out to protect itself. I check my arms – apart from the bloody mess that used to be my hands, there isn’t a mark on me. So I hadn’t struggled. I hadn’t fought back. There is no way I would have just submitted. I know I would never have let anyone make me go somewhere I didn’t want to. I am not a weakling. I know how to handle myself and I have had to use those skills on quite a few occasions.
There is nothing to do but wait. I am not a patient person at the best of times. I can’t stand waiting in line for anything. I actually avoid situations where I might have to queue, preferring to do most of my shopping on-line. Of course, this means that I actually end up waiting longer for the things I want but it’s not the same as standing, tapping my toes, waiting for a cashier to call, “Next!”
Sitting here in this room not even knowing what I am waiting for, is the worst kind of hell for me. All kinds of sick scenarios flash through my mind causing my heart to pound in dread. What is going to happen to me? Are my family looking for me? Do they even know I am missing? It wouldn’t surprise me if they’re happy I’ve gone. They probably think all their Christmases have come at once. Maybe they’re throwing a party – raising their glasses in toast, “Good Riddance!” After all I’ve been nothing but trouble for them all, such a burden and embarrassment. My sister still thinks I’m responsible for my Mum getting sick. It’s not my fault the old girl worries so much. I’m a grown woman, after all.
Alone in this cold dank room, I can see clearly now all the things I did wrong over the years - the things that set me on my path to self-destruction. Maybe if I’d paid more attention in school and hadn’t got in with the wrong crowd and starting bunking off... Perhaps I could have got myself some qualifications and a good job. I could have travelled or even worked abroad. Maybe I wouldn’t be locked in this room now.
I can’t think straight. How long has it been? When did I last eat or drink anything? Is that their plan, to starve me to death? Have I been grabbed off the street by some psycho who is sitting in front of a monitor watching me slowly waste away? Or maybe he’s waiting for me to become weak with hunger before he comes and does unthinkable things to me.
I just want to go home. I’m sorry I let them all down. I promise I’ll change. No more drugs. No more stealing. I’ll get clean and get a job, I swear. No more stupid mistakes.
“Please just let me go home!” I scream at the tops of my lungs. I kick the door although I know it will do no good. I turn and throw myself on the hard bed once more.
“You need to calm yourself down.”
I look up and I am so relieved to see a face. It is a stern unforgiving face but I can’t help but smile at the short, tubby women who has entered the room. She stares at me and I begin to wonder if I have lost my mind already and imagined her into being.
“Are you going to take me home?” I ask, gingerly.
“You aren’t leaving here for a very long time,” she answers, simply as if this is the only explanation I need. My chest tightens as realisation sinks in. She’s not here to rescue me! My captor is a woman. In all my wild imaginings, I never thought it would be a woman.
“What do you want with me?” I sob, barely speaking above a whisper.
She seems confused. She leans her head to one side and takes a long appraising look at me.
“Your solicitor is here to see you!”
The memories come flooding back like a tsunami washing over me. Oh, now I remember.

THE END

Rebus, Rochester, Gray and Marlowe

BOOK CHALLENGE 53/1000 (61)

Okay, well I was going to start on the period pieces but I got a bit side-tracked. Black and Blue by Ian Rankin slipped in there somehow. I am not sure why or how! I love a good crime novel and despite the fact that Rebus isn't a particularly likeable character, I found myself warming to this rogue. This isn't the first Rebus book in the series and although I haven't read any others, I didn't feel lost at all. There are another couple listed on the challenge but I will save these for later and try to focus on some of the books I am not really looking forward to. That way I can reward myself with something I know I will enjoy just to break the boredom.

BOOK CHALLENGE 54/1000 (62)

Everything I thought I remembered about this story was wrong! It has been more years than I care to admit since I read this book. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte is a classic for very good reason. I thought this one would be a real chore. I haven't really read any classic books since leaving school and I realise now that I have been missing a lot. I'm actually looking forward to re-discovering these standards.

BOOK CHALLENGE 55/1000 (63)

Another classic which I know I read eons ago but didn't recall the story properly. The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde is a much darker novel than I remembered. Although I was engrossed and read it through quite quickly I can't truthfully say I enjoyed it. The story and characters are excellent but the dark and twisted nature of the lead character didn't sit well with me. The edition I picked up is an early one and after a little googling I realise that the story was a little more expanded in other editions. I don't think this is a book I will ever pick up again, though.

BOOK CHALLENGE 55/1000 (64) A little side-step was called for. The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler is the second by this author on the challenge. In my opinion, this story is much better than The Long Goodbye and I didn't find Philip Marlowe as obnoxious in this one. I don't understand why all these women keep throwing themselves at him. The man is a pig!

Life Beyond Books

Well, it's been a while since I blogged about anything other than the reading challenge and there has been a very good reason for this. I have spent the last few months just going through the motions. My world has been on auto pilot.
I am sure that anyone who has lost someone close can identify.
I can't seem to focus on anything other than the stuff I have to do. Getting up and going to work is an effort in itself. I would much rather just sit around watching endless hours of television and forget about the world outside.
Clint has been incredibly patient and I can't fault how he has taken care of me.
I know this can't last much longer. There is only so much self-pity you can wallow in. Until then, I'm content to lock myself away from the world and pretend it just isn't there.

The Jackal vs Jason Bourne

BOOK CHALLENGE 51/1000 (59)
I am not big on political thrillers but I was pleasantly surprised with The Day of the Jackal by Frederick Forsyth. Although there was a little two much factual history for me and not enough fictional action. I found myself willing on this assassin hoping he would succeed. Not because I have anything against French politicians but because, in this book, there are no other real characters to sympathise with. Whether or not it was the author's intention to create this anti-hero I have no idea.

This novel does seem to have endless paragraphs of description and very little dialogue. This made is quite a slow arduous read for me as it is not a style I particularly enjoy.

The next book I have lined up is a similar theme so I am interested in seeing the difference in writing styles.

BOOK CHALLENGE 52/1000 (60)

Aah. That's better. Much more up my street. This one I did not want to put down. The Bourne Identity by Robert Ludlum is on another level, in my opinion. The pacing is better, the tension greater and, quite frankly, the story and characters are leagues ahead of Jackal.

It has been so long since I have read this book I actually forgot how unlike the film it is. The book is much more involved with twists and turns and I don't think they captured this very well in the film.

Although I have read this trilogy many moons ago, I actually couldn't remember many of the little plot twists and so it was like reading it for the first time. I would like to go on a read the other two books but I don't have the time right now and I am very behind in my reading schedule. It doesn't help that I have bookshelves of other books that I am itching to read.

For instance, I took a little break from the challenge to read a The Black Magician trilogy by Australian Sci-Fi author Trudi Canavan. It was a week I couldn't really afford to lose but I need to indulge my own tastes a little every now and then or this challenge would be dead in the water. Now it's time to get back to the challenge and I'm in the mood for a few period pieces. Bronte and Austen, here I come!

Crime of a Book, Book of a Crime.

BOOK CHALLENGE 49/1000 (57)

Thank Elvis, Einstein Intersection by Samuel R Delany is a short novel. I would never have made it through to the end otherwise. I didn't enjoy this book one little bit and I couldn't wait to get to the end just so I could cross it off the list. I hope there aren't too many more like this on the list.

BOOK CHALLENGE 50/1000 (58)

Red Dragon by Thomas Harris. What's not to like? It's easy to read with a quick engaging pace that leads you on to the next page and before you know it, it's 4 o'clock in the morning and you've got to get up at 6 for work! Or is that just me? Okay, I've read this book before, a few times. Alright, probably a few dozen times. It's in my permanent collection and it's one of the books I read regularly. My copy is a double edition with Silence of the Lambs and it is well worn.

Horror Stories

Last year I failed miserably to meet my target of 100 books from the challenge. This year I am hoping to reach 200 books. Maybe that target is a little high but we'll see how I get on. January was a complete non-starter on the reading front for obvious reasons. Hopefully, now February is here I can get on my way properly.

BOOK CHALLENGE 47/1000 (55)

Dolores Claiborne by Stephen King - This is the second of three novels from this author which made the list. I much prefered this one to The Shining. This one read more like a narration and flowed considerably better. It was a lot quicker and easier to read. Although I have read quite a few King books over the years I am not a big fan. This is one of those authors that I feel I should like because they are incredibly popular but I just can't seem to appreciate their work.

BOOK CHALLENGE 48/1000 (56)

Animal Farm by George Orwell, another classic book which I had never before picked up. I am no political or social activist but even I was able to understand and appreciate the message of "power corrupts". I surprised myself by enjoying this book although it is not one I'll probably ever read again in all honestly.

A Slow Recovery

Last January, I jokingly named 2010 "The Year Things Broke". Later, I revised it to "The Year Things Died". By New Year's Eve I was convinced I had cursed us all. What started as a joke had become a nightmare. An early morning rush to the hospital, and the worst imaginable had become reality. Everything since that night has become a surreal blur. My world has been turned upside down, inside out and torn to shreds. I walk around on autopilot, going through the motions but barely conscious.

The grief comes in waves. A slow ebb back and forth, alternating between sadness and sobbing. A song on the radio, a chance remark by someone and I'm off again. People tell you it gets better with time and I know they are right but the truth is I don't want to feel better. I don't want to move on. I just want to sit here feeling sad and sick.

I haven't seen my family since the day after the funeral and the longer I leave it, the harder it becomes. Going round to my Dad's knowing he's never going to be there again feels too hard right now. It's too much of a reminder that he's gone. I know they wouldn't want me to lock myself away but it's what I need right now.

My Father, My Hero.

Peter Alefounder

31 Oct 1944 - 30 Dec 2010

Dad,

I want you to know I'm okay. Nothing makes any sense and every inch of me hurts more than I ever thought possible but I'm okay. I still can't believe you're gone. Maybe I just don't want to believe it. It's easier to think that any minute now you're going to knock on the door. You'll have something tucked under your arm that you've rescued from somewhere, certain that it's just the thing I've always needed to make my life better. Or maybe you're going to ring and invite me out to the karaoke and we'll go and have a good sing and a few drinks.
The last time we had a good heart-to-heart you were worried that you hadn't done right by me. I want you to know that you did just fine. There may have been a time when I doubted you but as I grew up I realised that you always did all you could to try and make sure I wasn't left out. I think you were worried that I didn't forgive you for leaving me behind but I did that a long long time ago. I never blamed you or anyone else. I should have told you that more.
We might not have had a good start but we got there in the end. Finding that little something we had in common was just what we needed. It may seem crazy to some people that karaoke brought us together but it did. Our love of singing bound us together and gave us a special connection we were able to build on. We had some great laughs and I have some great memories that I will cherish forever.
You always tried to instill in me how important family was and this was always where we disagreed. While I thought that you can love your family but still dislike them, you told me that I had to look past everyone's faults and just love them anyway. I could never figure out if you could never see the bad in anyone or you just didn't like airing dirty laundry in public. Either way, you never had a bad word to say about anyone and we all loved you for that.
I might never be able to forgive as readily as you seemed to be able to do but I promise I will try.
There is so much I wish I'd told you. Mostly I hope you know how much I love you and how proud I am to be your daughter.

Love always

Sally